The blog of an average man managing the 1,440 minutes he's given each day

Losing and Living

This last week was Baby Loss Awareness Week and I was debating writing anything about our losses because… well… I’m not sure there’s much more to say publicly.

But, like World Mental Health Day, the emphasis is on awareness.

Awareness is helpful for the friends and family of those who have lost a baby and it’s also helpful for those who like the idea of creating little humans and, heaven forbid, might experience it themselves.

By talking about it we can hopefully help friends who have suffered silently, or not so silently, in whichever way is right for them. And if you don’t know how to, ask!

For me, one thing that would have helped is knowing that it happens.

And more commonly than I thought.

The fact that it happens often by no means lessens the blow though. And by blow I mean, imagine frolicking through a lovely grassy field at sunset with someone you care about and suddenly they pull out a baseball bat and smash you in the face. That kind of blow. And that’s how some of us experience baby loss. Completely unexpected and out of the blue. One minute we’re all happy and expectant, the next… we’re beaten.

Eventually your face will heal, unless your special someone is a pro baseballer, but the memories will only fade. And you’ll probably always be a bit cautious walking through fields.

I also know that others have different experiences where tough decisions have to be made. And that’s a whole different kind of shit.

There are so many things to be aware of these days, awareness for this and that, but I think there’s a degree of responsibility we have toward those we do life with. Us humans aren’t always the best at knowing what’s good or right for us and we kind of need others to look out for us sometimes. And by being aware and creating awareness we can help each other.

But first we need to share what we’re going though and that can take some courage and faith.

So talk about the crap, and the good, be aware of others and share life. You’ll quickly find out who cares and hopefully it will make us all better humans.

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